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A lot of us pick up on shifts in the people around them without really thinking about it. A mate who's gone quiet. Someone drinking more than usual. A regular who keeps pulling out of the Saturday tee time.
The thing is, very few people who are struggling will come out and say it directly. It's more likely to show up as small changes in behaviour, mood, or routine. Changes that are easy to write off as "just a bad week" unless you're paying attention.
On the course: They've stopped turning up to their regular game, or they're playing alone more often. Concentration seems off. They might be unusually quiet, unusually short-tempered, or just slightly different in a way that's hard to pin down but easy to feel.
In the clubhouse: Drinking more, or earlier, or both. Pulling back from the group. Brushing things off with a flat "yeah, fine" that clearly means the opposite. Or going the other way entirely: louder and more performative than usual.
Anywhere else: They've mentioned sleeping badly, or being stressed, or having a rough time at home. These things often get dropped into conversation and then quickly moved past, like they're testing whether you'll notice.
Everyone has off days. That's just life. The thing worth watching for is when off days start stacking up, or when someone's mood or behaviour changes and stays changed over a few weeks.
Worth remembering: you might be wrong. Someone might look like they're struggling when they're actually just busy, or knackered, or dealing with something completely different from what you'd guess. That's fine. Noticing and being wrong is still better than missing something that mattered.
If something feels different about someone, it's worth a check-in.
