Phone away. In your pocket, out of sight. Not screen-down-on-the-table. Actually gone. It signals that whatever they're saying has your full attention, which matters when someone's just said something that took courage.

Match their pace. If they're talking slowly, let them take their time. If there are long pauses, let those sit. Silence in these moments often means someone is thinking, processing, or working up to saying something harder. Jumping in to fill it can cut that off.

Show you're with them. A nod. A "yeah." Repeating back what they've said in your own words: "So it's been building up for a while?" or "Sounds like work's been relentless." Small signals like that tell them it's landing, which can make it easier to keep going.

Ask open questions. These give someone room to answer in their own way, rather than funnelling them towards a yes or no.

• "What's been the hardest part?"
• "How long has this been going on?"
• "What does a bad day actually look like for you?"
• "What's been helping, if anything?"

Closed questions ("Are you stressed?" "Is it work?") tend to get one-word answers. Open ones hand over the mic.

Minimising. "Everyone goes through that" or "It's probably just a phase." These are meant to comfort, but they can make someone feel like they need to justify what they're going through.

Jumping to solutions. "Have you tried yoga?" or "Maybe you just need a holiday." When someone's mid-sentence about something difficult, a suggestion can land as a polite way of saying "OK, that's enough." Problem-solving has its place. Probably just later.

Taking over the conversation. "I know exactly how you feel, when I was..." Sharing your own experience briefly can help, because it normalises things. But if it takes over, the focus shifts away from them and they'll likely stop talking.

Rushing to fill silence. The urge to jump in with a story or change the subject when things go quiet is strong. Worth resisting. They might be working out how to say something they've never said out loud.

Sometimes the most useful thing to say is the simplest.

• "That sounds really tough. I'm glad you told me."
• "I hear you."
• "That makes sense."
• "Take your time. There's no rush."

These are enough. They say: I'm taking this seriously, and you can keep going if you want to.